The Traveler's Plight

The Traveler's Plight

A head in the clouds 

a heart left sitting next to the lukewarm cup of coffee on your nightstand  

longing for a place that for some reason I can’t remember why I left behind

Onto the next  

the same cup of coffee in a different setting

Being in the present means forgetting about the place before

your voice

that song 

those photos

They all help and they all hurt

I try to remember why I left

Post adventure depression is a real thing

But my love for the unfamiliar carries me through security

Sits my ass down in the aisle seat

and shoves me through customs

Another piece of my heart left behind at the airport bar where I wrote this.

Selfish.

You can say to me “you don’t know what you want.” 

And I will say to you “you’re right.”

You can say to me “you’re selfish”

And I will say to you “you’re right.”

You can say to me “I love you”

and I will say to you “I love me”

I’ll say to you I want to lay in fields of gold 

with no idea if my future is as bright as the sun warming my skin.

I want to drink reds and swap stories with strangers.

Free to listen, to go, to stay, to watch, to play.

Dizzied by the yellow centerline

Forgetting the where? The Why?

I heard someone say that people don’t really change. 

Maybe she’s right.

But every time I lift my head from the pillow I feel new…

I feel a shift.

Another New Place.

Another New Face. 

Another New Experience.

THAT constitutes change.

And I’m right in the fucking middle of it.

My Salvation.

I believe in salvation

and the kindness of strangers.

There’s nobody waiting at the end 

nobody waiting to save me.

but there’s sure as hell a hand to hold

lips to kiss

and words that make me feel like I’m the one you’ve been waiting all this time for. 

There’s sheets to get tangled in. 

Water to submerse myself in. 

Coffee to wake up to. 

Eyes that are full of acceptance and absent of judgment.

A comfortable silence to sit in.

You’ll tell me you’ll be in touch

and I’ll act like I believe you.

I’ll go down my road

and you’ll go down yours. 

Maybe we meet in the middle

but something tells me we won’t. 

All the things that hooked me to this life will always be there

in different eyes, places, long car rides, and hot cups of coffee. 

I will find salvation.